Crawford, Texas — President Bush, who was originally expected to return to a full schedule at the White House this weekend, has called in sick in an effort to enjoy a few more hours of vacation at his ranch in Texas.

“It’s fine, there’s no work really waiting for me in the Oval Office,” the President said. “A few things to sign are waiting on my desk, but no major fires to put out, according to my secretary. I’m sure the American people won’t mind if they go without a leader another day or two.”

White House officials took the President’s decision in stride, and admitted that the odds that someone will attack the United States over Labor Day weekend was “pretty low.”

The President admitted that his sleeping schedule has shifted to much later in the day over the course of his month long vacation. “I promise I’ll set my alarm to around 9:00 a.m. tomorrow so I can start getting back in the swing of things,” President Bush remarked.

Vice-President Dick Cheney suggested to the President that he schedule a half-day on his first day back at the White House, so Bush can ease into his role as leader of the world’s only superpower more smoothly.

Aides say that the President has gained several pounds over his vacation, from a combination of dinner fund-raisers and late-night Twinkie binges.