President says this has nothing to do with recent events

WASHINGTON — President Bush announced today that the Central Intelligence Agency has been removed from cases involving the war on terrorism and has been reassigned to providing catering services for the federal government.

“I’ve got confidence in [CIA Director] George Tenet. I’ve got confidence in the men and women who work at the CIA and I … look forward to tasting some of that delicious potato salad that they’re working on right now,” Bush said at the White House.

Bush distanced himself from reports that the administration is privately unhappy with the Agency and its Director. “This was being planned for a while, and has absolutely nothing to do with the leaks that we believe originated with the CIA which questioned my pronouncement that Saddam Hussein was trying to get banned materials from Africa,” President Bush said.

Director of Central Intelligence George J. Tenet vowed to uphold the high standards of the Agency in its new role. “Our mission is to be the keystone of a catering community that is pre-eminent in the world, known for both the high quality of our work and the excellence of our people. Would you like Freedom Fries with that?” Tenet said.