WASHINGTON — President Bush on Wednesday pleaded with officials at the United Nations to intervene in Iraq to put an end to the killing and injuring of U.S. forces there.

“These guys are cheating,” Bush told reporters. “The war ended, the buzzer sounded, and we even had a sign that said ‘Mission Accomplished.’ Iraq should immediately forfeit the game and we should be declared the winner.”

President Bush phoned UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan earlier today to demand that they “open their damn eyes, ref, to what the other guy is getting away with.”

When asked if sending more troops to Iraq was one possible solution, Bush said that he’d like to but that the league has very strict rules about the number of eligible players for each game.